Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Breaking Out the Truth

Ask yourself, when will be the next time I go on Netflix?

If you have answered this question, I assume you will be watching a movie or binging on a TV series within the next 24 hours. Good! This is the perfect time to watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!

If you should know anything about this show before watching it, I must inform that Tina Fey (THE Tina Fey, let's not forget who wrote Mean Girls) is one of the writers. So naturally, you're in for a few snickers and maybe an ab workout depending on how hard you laugh.

I may be only two episodes into the series, but I already love the way the show breaks out the truth about the American society. What makes this show humorous is its honest portrayal of how Americans act in our media. 

For example, check out this scene and tell me it doesn't remind you of our modern day newscasters.

Did you read the newsflash? Did you read all of it? Because you know, our society seems to have its vision constantly blurred by the spotlight of white people, naturally you could've missed the small script indicating that a "Hispanic woman [was] also found." (Very clever Tina!)

Even the theme song mocks the YouTube hit the Bed Intruder Song! Our society has giggled at the song but seems to forget that the man "singing" is belting out his anger toward the creep who attempted to rape his sister. 

                                                                           

I don't know about you, but I think this is a slap in the face... (I still find it comical that the theme song makes fun of this video)

When asked why the one Hispanic woman, who was of the four cult victims, didn't learn a word of English the whole time she was locked up with three English-speaking women, a clever response rolled off her tongue in her native language:

I quite like her answer to this question, for it just goes to show how our society holds English speakers so high above our fellow neighbors and friends. I remember when Coke launched its Super Bowl commercial a year or so ago, and many people hated the fact that people spoke in tongues aside from English. Our society was not willing to watch a two minute commercial because they "couldn't understand it!" Oh boohoo, does anyone stop to acknowledge the progress people make when learning a second language? Does anyone realize that not everyone speaks English? Has anyone noticed that Americans aren't the only people living in this world?

If your eyes have widened and you've thought Oh burn at any point while reading this article, it is clear that you are destined to hop aboard the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt boat. Enjoy your voyage!

NOT-SO-FUN FACT

FACT: My brother has watched more Netflix this year than I have spent socializing with friends. Okay, so which part is sadder?

As the first born child in my family, I often notice the luxuries my brother has acquired as the second born child. He got to go to Hawaii at an earlier age (because we HAD to bring him with us). He will be going to New York (Neeew Yoooork) at an earlier age when we go this summer. Well, I mostly envy his earlier exposure to new destinations.

I do not, however, envy his earlier exposure to television. My brother has watched Scooby Doo, the Office, Malcolm in the Middle, Parks and Rec, Everybody Loves Raymond, My Name is Earl, AND the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt all since November of 2014! Not only does it shock me that he has this much time on his hands, but also it saddens me that my brother has wasted a good chunk of his childhood.

When I was his age (oh gosh), I remember having been raised thinking that if you watch too much TV your brain will turn to an oatmeal-like substance called mush. I spent hours upon hours building fairy houses and mixing potions, picking pomegranates apart, and chasing my cat through tall grass in the backyard. I even picked up this rectangular thing that opens at odd angles... I think it was called a "book."

It is sad, however, that I have spent such little of my time socializing with friends this school year. Part of my dying social life is due to my love and obsession with sleep. I am a busy, young woman with busy, young woman things to do, so on weekends, one must understand that I am catching up on precious hours of sleep that my body so desperately craves. I have a small social circle as it is, and I can't stand being in situations where I am standing next to someone who can't hear me over the sound of their own smartphone scrolling. I have spent so many hours, I MEAN WASTED SO MANY HOURS, with people who think "hanging out" is sitting with me while they look at their phone. Maybe it is my own fault for not bringing much life to these situations, but if you have the audacity to take my time, please make it worth it.

So is it sadder that I would rather pass up hanging out with cellphones or that my brother would rather pass up his childhood?

We Can't Stop (Advertising)

Almost three years ago, Miley Cyrus chopped off her wavy locks and stunned all the old Hannah Montana fans. She was already getting some hate for ditching her Disney act and becoming a "bad girl."So by the time she released her "We Can't Stop" music video in 2013 (pre-twerking on the VMAs?), most people were already expecting something "wild." 

There was definitely something wild about this video and it wasn't the french fry skeleton, twerking, OR the constant sticking out of tongues.

It was the product-ad placement.

When I first watched this video in 2013, I remember noticing the Beats by Dre speaker within the first ten seconds of the video and Miley's use of Eos lip balm. Soon I was too overwhelmed by prop choices and costumes to make note of these objects.

Almost two years later, having viewed The Persuaders it is suddenly so obvious to me that product-ad placement is used in Miley's music video to advertise the very objects that seemed so perfectly centered in the frame: Beats by Dre and Eos Lip Balm.

What better way to advertise products than put your gadgets in a popular poster's music video? These companies were strategic in targeting a bunch of (most likely) teenaged hooligans who are eager to keep up with the in.

It's safe to say that WE CAN'T STOP ADVERTISING to viewers like you in our persuasive society. 

Obvious?

She's def just casually putting lip balm on...

ONE TWO THREE SAY SEX!

One Easter, my unenthusiastic cousins and I were being forced together to take a picture. (Omigosh, we just want to eat our Easter candy already!) Rather than "ONE TWO THREE SAY CHEESE!" my grandpa replaced the words with "SEX!" I was in seventh grade, my cousins and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Now, let's imagine if my grandpa had replaced "SEX!" with "PORN!" I would have most likely connected porn to pigs because porn once sounded a lot like "boar" to me. Though it may have taken me a while to learn the meaning of this odd word, the budding generations are learning about this thing faster than they should be!

An article by The Telegraph addresses how the word "sex" has lost its meaning for those exposed to porn at a young age. Porn is what Orwell describes as "the invasion of ready-made phrases." It gives a false illusion, perpetuating fantasy to its viewers until they are brainwashed with this idea that sex is when a girl obeys what"a boy [expects] her to do." Pornography, both the word and the explicit material, has caused people to have a pre-conceived idea of unrealistic expectations. This is the metaphor Orwell speaks of that has lost its meaning and value, for pornography leaves those addicted at young ages to batter emotional instabilities and fears of their own bodies.

Watch what you want, but keep in mind that censoring those precious emotions of yours may help ya out when you're confused as of why you feel emotionless and lost.

The Not-Coffee-Stained Coffee Table

Welcome to our cozy home, you may notice a few items that were in last month's Pottery Barn catalog. You betcha, we're one of those families! My mom recently added something to our PB style house: a glass coffee table. In fact, this guy came in the mail just yesterday! After cutting off the unnecessary package protection stuff (all those soft plastic thingies, vague, I know), we put the levelers on the feet of the table, and slid the glass into place!

 UGH. Something about this table irks me.

(THIS IS IT! Why do we need this?)

Maybe I don't like this table because it is clear. I, a shoeless wanderer, acquire blackened feet after simple things like taking out the garbage or feeding my dog or maybe even bringing food inside fresh off the barbecue. When taking a nice pitstop on the couch, am I going to want to put my feet on the coffee table? Heck yeah! I just can't help but wonder if I will leave my dusty footprints behind.

The amount of space it takes up just before the couch annoys me because I will no longer be able to do random cartwheels or break into dances when I please. Our living room is spacious enough for me to juggle a soccer ball when I am home alone (what my mom doesn't know won't hurt her, even though juggling in the house puts our furniture at risk) and to literally run and jump onto the couch. Now, how am I supposed to tackle my brother when I have to worry that I might shatter a table?

There is one plus to this table. I discovered that if I put my cat on top of the bottom layer, beneath the top glass layer (duh), she looks ridiculously cute from all angles! If you look at her from under the bottom layer, she appears to be levitating! If you look at her from above, she looks like a cat stuck in a glass aquarium! 

Overall, this coffee table deserves a solid one out of five stars.

MEdia

My fellow Latin scholars out there deciphering words of all languages may say that the first Latin word they unearthed freshmen year was "agricola." That "Oh wow! Duh!" moment of "Agriculture comes from the Latin 'agricola' which means farmer!" We did this often. Latin word. Latin derivative. 

My grand epiphany came when I saw that the Latin word for "queen" is "regina." My oh, my oh! Is it just coincidental that the Queen Bee in Mean Girls is named Regina George? I think not. This secret code grabbed me by the collar of my T-shirt... I saw Latin inscribed on the brick walls of churches, on college brochures, everywhere!

I even found more characters lurking about with Latin names. The movie Mr. Nobody features a character named Nemo Nobody. How Clever I thought to myself while snapping (a writer's way of applauding) that the clever writer of this script double emphasized "nobody." How? Well, obviously "nemo" translates to nobody! His name is Nobody Nobody! 

Maybe my idea of a "message" is different from the oh-so-typical, but when you begin to see patterns, it's easy to foil the memos of the media. It's even easier to want to fit in with whatever "in" thing the media is throwing at ya. (So maybe I fall guilty to having HAD an Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook... LAME LAME LAME, I know.)

I have strayed from that pack of sheep that graze on the tastiest social media sites. I will admit, you can find me cozied up, homework off my mind, with Netflix rolling on either a laptop or on our family TV. Waking up late on Saturday mornings, you may find me in bed with Tumblr displayed on my phone screen. You may even catch me out in public snapping a four second pic for my Snapchat story! Oops.

I cannot pull myself aside from the musical and movie media I have learned to love. My Pandora stations vary from Besame Mucho to Queen to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. As sad as it is to admit, it is beautiful to have such variation at my fingertips. I can click. Click. Click. And find myself falling in love with a song I may have never heard! 

Abandoning the popular social media sites have cleared my mind. I always felt that I never used Instagram or Twitter for myself, never posted pictures or tweets to let people know what I was up to. I used them to "stalk" the people of this world, maybe classmates, maybe celebrities, maybe teachers' kids whose names I have no idea how I uncovered. Why waste my time when I can collage with magazine scraps?

On a foggy February morning, months after I had deleted my Twitter account, my dad mentioned an interesting NPR topic: boredom. Do we, in this day and age with satisfaction, easy access, phrases pre-written for us, know what boredom really is? The main reason I limit myself these days with social media, texting, electronics, and headphones is because of the interesting words of Dan Deacon: "If you're not bored, you're mind is never gonna wander."

This imagination of mine will continue to wander. Maybe it will walk through YouTube, skip through Huffington Post, or jog by NYU Local taking a quick break at Netflix, but eventually it will get a running start and wander far off onto some luxurious beach in Rio de Janeiro.

"Not all those who wander are lost," and believe me, though at times I may look lost in thought, I am wandering and wandering and wandering...